Mindfulness is a state of present moment awareness that can help individuals develop a sense of awareness for their thoughts, emotions, and experiences. It’s a powerful tool that we can use to analyze the present without any judgement, as it involves being fully involved in the present and engaged in what you are doing. Rather than being distracted by thoughts of the past or future. The purpose of this tool is to provide help for individuals to overcome challenges and achieve awareness for their thoughts and actions. In this blog, I’m going to share a few ways I use mindfulness practices to develop a mindset that helps me face my challenges.
Have you walked into another room to get something and then can’t remember for the life of you what you went to get? I sure have. Have you gotten lost in your thoughts and realized your mind is daydreaming and not even focused on the task in front of you? Many times. Does your mind wander off to tasks you were going to take care of at the same time try to make “to-do lists” that you know you won’t remember in 2 minutes? All the time! Why do our thoughts fly by so fast sometimes and other thoughts ruminate inside and drive us crazy? It’s crazy how many stress inducing thought one person can think of.
We’ve all had these busy thoughts before and I’ve become curious about all these questions. So I started paying more attention to my own thoughts and where they are coming from, how they formulate, and where they go when I’m not thinking about them. I like to visualize my thoughts are like a fallen leaf being carried down a rushing stream. The thought continues to float by unless I choose to reach down and pick it up and keep it. I have heard that “I am not my thoughts and they don’t control me”, but I have definitely experienced situations where I have allowed my thoughts to control how I was feeling and at times, my response was nothing to be proud of.
As a young mom, I really struggled with being mindful of my self-care, or mindful of my reactions to frustrations and unexpected disappointments. Having teenagers and keeping track of 5 busy children of activities and school was exhausting and overwhelming. I look back at that time and recognize how my life was controlled by others’ emotions and needs. I hardly took time to care for my own needs because by the end of the day, I was exhausted and I had to get up early the next to start all over again, before the first kid had to be out the door. I had a season of life where my mind was on overload all the time. Living with a constant headache and neck pain that felt like I would black out. It scared me but I kept going because I felt like I needed to do more. These thoughts and feelings had me ignoring the messages my body was trying to tell me. I wish I knew then what I know now.
I believe mindfulness is an alignment of mind, body, and spirit. There are things in life, circumstances, and situations, that cause the separation of our mind, body, and spirit. Distractions that lead our thoughts away from our physical surroundings can cause us to be more reactive than proactive in our responses. The trick I use is trying to stay aware of what is going on around me and asking myself how I am feeling about it. Become aware of the voices that your alignments are trying to say to you. Practicing this can bring in a new level of mindfulness to a situation. This is something I have been working on and started a daily practice to help me navigate emotional ups and downs. Here are a few methods that I use in my life to live in the moment and be mindful throughout my day:
- A mindful morning routine with no technology – The first hour of my day I spend time waking up my mind and body by deep breathing meditation for 5-10 min. To align my spirit I focus my connection to God by reading His words in the scriptures and receiving inspiration for the day. I have labeled this morning routine as my AM Power Hour where my mind, body, and spirit connect. This is when I will record my inspiration and ideas in my journal as they come at various times.
- Body check – Throughout the day I will check in with my body and ask, “What do you need sweetheart?” I actually set a timer to go off at 4:30 pm to remind myself to check in and listen to my body’s messages.
- Senses check – Check-in with your 5 senses at any point in the day. What do I smell? What colors or images do I see? What am I tasting in my mouth? What sounds do I hear? What is the temperature or textures I am feeling?
- Deep breathing – 3 deep inhales and 3 slow exhales is the quickest way to align my mind and body.
- Circumstances check list – When I notice strong emotions are surfacing, this is how I check in with myself:
- What are the circumstances right now?
- What are my thoughts about the circumstances? Is it 100 %true?
- What am I feeling? If I change my thoughts, how would I feel?
- How am I reacting? If I change my thoughts, how would I respond?
- Am I getting the results I want? If I change my thoughts, would I get the results I am hoping for?
- A bedtime routine with no technology – One hour before bed, I turn off my phone and plug it in to charge in a different room than where I sleep. This gives me time to wind down and transition from being awake and busy, to prepare my body for sleep. I use this hour to do things that are calming and relax my body, mind, and spirit. I am a fan of the sleep mode on my Apple iPhone so I am not bothered by distractions or notifications between 9:30 pm and 6:00 am. It’s easy to adjust the hours of sleep mode you prefer, that is just the time that works for me.
I have been practicing these powerful tools to be more mindful and I have experienced some incredible changes in my mindset. I recently had a chance to go to the beach with my family, I’ve been afraid of the ocean waves most of my life and have avoided playing in the ocean for 45 years. This visit to the ocean was different for me. I sat on the beach watching others play in the waves and I had a flashback of a time when I was about 8 years old and I was out playing in the ocean waves. A series of waves crashed on me and tumbled under the water disoriented. I didn’t know where the ocean floor was or open air, it had scared me at the time.
As I reflected on this experience, I asked myself, if I went out in the ocean today, could I handle the waves in my adult body if that were to happen again? I decided that it was time for me to try again and trust myself that I would know what to do if the waves crashed on me again. I didn’t want to be the one sitting on the beach watching everyone else have fun because of a fear that started as a child. I chose to test my new mindset and go out into the ocean. Once I did, I had so much fun and enjoyed interacting with everyone else out there. I gained trust and confidence that I was ok. It was on the second day of playing in the ocean that a big wave crashed over me. I went under, but this time I kept my feet on the ocean floor and let the wave wash past me before I stood up. I felt so great to know that this particular fear of the ocean was an image in my mind that didn’t prove to be true.
My process of questioning my fears and acknowledging them to be there, but not giving them power over me was thrilling. My circumstances checklist allowed myself to adopt a mindset that allows me the chance to conquer boundaries I had set, and it allowed me to take control of my present moment rather than becoming distracted or fearful. I was able to overcome my challenge about the ocean and learned to trust the strength of my body rather the memory of a frightened 8 year old memory of myself. I am learning that practicing being mindful in the present moment while allows us the chance to work through the distractions and stresses of life.